Intoxication

Apparently I am way to emotionally honest when I'm intoxicated. I knew this for years, but I still continue to drink to the point where I filter what I say. Why is this.

Is it because I just want people to know what I'm thinking deep down inside?

No, If I tell people what I really feel its just come off extremely off putting. Even though everyone has similar opinion and feeling towards other people, we live in a thing called society where is it sometimes better to keep things to our selves.

Is it because I'm depressed and need an outlet for my emotions?

No, I do get depressed at times, but I usually just turn to writing, long runs, or something else as a form of a scapegoat for my troubles in life. I do admit I have use drugs and alcohol in my past for those reason, but I got to a point in my life where I don't need those substances to cope with my emotional issues.

Is it for attention then?

No, Hell No! If you get drunk and act a fool just for attention, simply put, your probably just a pathetic idiot.

Then what is the reason why I continue to drink to the point of intoxication where I open a window to my emotions.

Well, the reason is that I love the taste of alcohol.

You see, I love to drink. I love to go out with friends and have a good time, yet, if I enjoy drinking to the point where I just need to confess what I really think about someone or something, then that's just the price I have to pay for my love of alcohol.

If only there was a way that I can express my thoughts and emotions in a socially acceptable manner. Maybe something that I can write everything down, and only show the people that are genially interested in what I have to say, other than just saying in at at time and place where it can make my look extremely socially awkward.

If only there is thing that I can write my thoughts for those selected people could read them.

If only............