Potential

The biggest epiphany I had in a while just clicked in my head. Nothing pisses off a loved one more then seeing them not applying themselves to their full potential. I'm not sure if this is common scene, or a life lesson each and everyone must learn the hard way, yet by understanding this truth about human nature makes understand how the "world spins" a little bit easier.

That is the Facebook statues I just posted up literally 5 minutes ago. About 30 minutes ago, I got off of work and I saw one of my friends outside Fox and the Hound smoking a cigarette. Of course I sat down with him like I usually do when I see a good friend hanging out at my work and started to chat.

I recently got kicked out of my house (Don't worry blog readers, I will eventually go into the long series of event leading up to this in a another post) a week ago. Anyway, I came to the conclusion the real reason why my dad forced me to be on my own with 60 dollars in my bank account and no place to sleep is because he trust me well enough to figure out how this world spins on my own. Is it fair that my dad did this to me? Hell no? But is at the same time it is very liberating knowing that he trust me well enough to think that I am able to hold a job well enough to pay for rent, gas, and everything else needed to live a normal life.

To days before I got kicked out of my house, I had a very interesting convocation with my dad. I upfront and told him that I am scared to death of the real world. We all should be though in our young 20's. I'm not scared to be fiscally independent or working for what I want to make me happy in life, I'm scared to fucking death knowing where my future will take me. I'm scared to death to take that "real job" which I am still busing my ass in college to achieve. In short, I am scared to death of utilizing my full potential because it is so easy to settle for mediocre.

My dad can be honestly a major bitch at times. And he is indeed a major ass hole at times. But despite his flaws that only me and my sister can truly see and truly, he is a very respectable person and I am blessed to have him raised me as a child.

But I'm not a child anymore. I'm not a "real" adult either. I'm in that transitioning period to reach that next step in life, whatever that is.

Yet, despite the feelings of liberation I have gained, it simply sucks being forced into the real world in such an irrational way on my dad's part. Being "homeless" isn't fun at all. Yet, it really isn't a big deal in the long steam of things. Several of my friends from Huntersville were placed in a similar sitationa and they worked themselves out out it. Knowing that my boys from the 'vill was in my same shoes a year ago and WORKED themselves to a position to be fiscally independent just makes me realize I can do the same as well.