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Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
What to say about me. I'm just an Individual who loves talking about Music, Politics, Social Issues, as well as any and everything Interesting. But Read My Blog and I think you'll get a better picture of me.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A scene of my screenplay "Lost on the way to cookout" - That is some Ignorant Shit

Devin

Andy, what the fuck are you doing here?

Andy

You know Jessy, the drummer, well I have a class with him and I told him I was doing stand-up, well, he said I can open for them with my 5 minute Act.

Devin

What the fuck man, why didn't you tell me you were coming here the other night at Luc’s. You could of car pooled with us.

Andy

Why didn't you tell me you were coming out tonight.

Devin

I though you stopped doing stand up since school started back up.

ANDY

I would talk longer, but I literally go on in fine minutes.

SHANE

I have never seen someone do stand up before a concert before.

DEVIN

It's a good idea.

SHANE

Yeah. So is Andy pretty good at stand up.

DEVIN

Yeah, he pretty good.I mean he no Dave Chapelle, but he pretty damn funny.

Shane and Devin then stand around talking about stuff for a few more minutes until they seen Andy get on stage.

DEVIN

(While yelling)

Andy Perez, I want your babies.

SHANE

(While yelling)

Devin, stop telling the whole world your gay

DEVIN

Fuck you.

Andy then walks up to the microphone and starts talking

Andy

OK, my name is Andy Perez, and I’m about to do some stand-up comedy.

Crowd

Yeah!!!!

Andy

I know yall came for music, but I’m about to make yall laugh. I want to thank Jessy for letting me come up here for them. So how many of yall love Lucky Five.

Crowd

Yeah!!!

Andy

You know Lucky 5 is from Charlotte. And I honestly love Charlotte North Carolina. Can I get some love for Charlotte, North Carolina?

Crowd

(Cheers)

Andy

But how many of yall are actually from Charlotte.

Crowd

(Crowd laughs)

Andy

So let me tell you something. I lived in Charlotte my whole life. And one thing I realized is that when all the new comers come around here, they only show them the good part of town. They show you uptown, the south end, lake Norman, the speed park, but they always seem to avoid the bad areas. Especially if your white.

Crowd

(Laughs)

Andy

Well, I decided to come up with a new game, it’s called find the white people on Beaties ford road. What you do is you drive up and down it, and you could all the white people you see. So far the highest I got was 5.

Crowd Laughs with a good reaction.

Devin

I told you he pretty funny.

Shane

Yeah, he’s good.

Andy

Yeah….I love black people though. I just love the welfare I have to pay to support them. Really, my families goes out and out to pay thousands of dollars go to college, get a degree, and get a job to just pay for their shit.

Crowd Laughs a lot less.

Andy

Really, and they don’t even save that money. Believe me, I know, I’m Jewish, they just spend it on the craziest things.

Crowd starts laughing a little less.

Andy

Really, all that money goes to trying to start a record label, shit for their bad car, or some type of substance. Again, I love black people, If I could spend other people money on alcohol and Newport’s I would be quite happy as well.

Crowd stops laughing a lot less.

Andy

Really. And let’s talk about Newport’s, every time a black guys ask me for a cig, he ask me for a Newport. And I’m like, if you’re gonna smoke, why not a good cigarette, not some cheap menthol shit.

Random Guy in Crowd

Hey shut the fuck up.

Andy

I’m sorry, but really when you think about it. I don’t stereotype, but a lot of them are based off of truth. Every time I walk into a Bojangles, all the workers are black.

Random Guy #2

Yo, that is some ignorant shit you are saying.

Random Guy #3

Yeah, fuck you you wanna be Michael Richards.

Members in the crowd then cheer.


Andy

I mean, I’m only telling jokes, I’m not...

Random Guy #4

Fuck you man, that was pretty racist.

Random Guy #5

Like, that really was some ignorant shit.Andy then runs off the stage.

Devin

Dude you OK man.

Andy

I need to go to the bathroom man.

Devin

Yo, talk to me man, I know you not.

Andy

No, I really need to go to the bathroom. I think I sharted up there, and….

Devin

Dude, what you are trying to say?

Andy

Dude, like I’ll talk to you later.

Andy then walks into the Bathroom.

Devin

I hope Andy is fine.

Shane

He will be, I mean the jokes were off putting, but the crowd didn’t have to say that shit.

Devin

Lets get back up to the stage

Devin and Shane then walk back up front.

Marquis

OK my babies,my babies. Let's calm down a little bit. My babies my babies, just calm down. Let’s get ready for some music.

Marquis

Yeah, yall came for some music right. Well, let’s play some music. Well, let’s get into some of our new songs.

Scene then goes into them playing one of their new songs (5 minutes of music to showcase one of lucky fives songs.

Marquis

Alright, what did yall think that that one. Yall loved it right!!!!

Crowd Cheers. But then you hear a lone voice in the crowd.

Heckler

Yo, you suck.

Marquis

Who the fucked said that.

Heckler

It was me.

Marquis

Oh you mother fucker. You come down here to my music show, and you say we suck. Man I should smack that white off your cracker ass.

Heckler

I don’t feel like embarrassing you anymore tonight. But if I have to, Ill beat the shit out of you Ray Charles.

Marquis

Oh you mother fucker, I’m gonna come down there and beat the shit out of you. You know where I’m from,…..Ohio mother fucker. Mother fuckin Ohio, and we do shit different there then in the South.

Band then crowd around marquis to calm him down.

Heckler

What are you gonna do you fuckin fagot. Look at Elton John up there singing his little songs then fuckin some random guy after this show.

Marquis

No, No, you think I’m all happy go lucky on the piano I forgot to beat a nigga’s ass. I can beat a nigga’s ass. You don’t know me. Not of yall fuckin know me. Fuck with Nash, Ill beat your fuckin ass. They used to call me blood motha fucka. Blood I say, blood.

Marquis

(Sounding like a dog)

Arf Arf

Marquis

Now kiss my black ass.

Marquis then shows his ass, then runs off then runs off the stage.

Shane

Dude, what the fuck is going on man. I never have seen you react like that to a dude in the crowd.

Marquis

Oh man. That was just an act.

Shane

Huh.

Marquis

Well, yeah, I just cussed out some random buy, but I’m not seriously pissed. Me and the band at Monaray's not to long ago, and I need to take a massive shit.

Shane

Are you fucking serious?

Marquis

Yeah, I whispered it to their ears just now. But dude, I can’t talk, l just got these pants the other day.

Marquis then runs into the bathroom. Andy is the seen coming out.

Devin

Dude, are you straight. And why are you holding your shirt.

Andy

I don’t want to talk about it.

Devin

Did you just...

Andy

Dude, I’m just gonna go home.

Devin

I’ll see you at Luc’s later this week.

Andy

I'll let you know.

Then the manager of the Tremont music venue comes onto the state. He walks up to the microphone and makes an announcement.

Manager

Due to some unexpected events, we are just gonna let the next band go on now. Please stay around and enjoy the rest of the music.

Devin

Well man, you trying to leave

Shane

Yeah.

Devin

Well, what do you want to do?

Shane

Well, do you want to go straight to cook out?

Devin

Do you know how to get to one from here?

Shane

Yeah….I can find one around Tremont. Then I’ll drop you back off at home.

Shane

Will do.

Shane and Devin then walks out the door. Camera then turns to Marqus walking out the bathroom.

Marquis

That was the biggest shit I have ever taken in my entire fucking life.

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